Trust

The Oxford dictionary defines trust as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. 

What happens when you have a group of friends in your life who you trust and you ultimately feel let down by?

Before you read this story, know that I am completely open to being in the wrong with this. However, the useful thing about this blog is that I can use it to get this sort of stuff off my chest. I will be changing the names of everyone involved, because I am just that nice. 

Right, I have a good handful of friends who I've known since I was about 17. Having been around them for the past eight or nine years has meant that we have done a lot together. We even lost a good friend to cancer - I gotta admit, that was one of the toughest moments in our lives.

I would like to go back to the Oxford dictionary to make my statement clearer:

'The firm belief in the reliability of someone': - I would underline or put these points in bold.: These guys never let you down. Not ever. They still don't to this day. I will get the odd text off them and I am a bit of a twat because I never reply. If they said that there was going to be a meeting in Basingstoke at 9pm, there would be one at 9pm without fail.

'The firm belief in the truth of someone': To my knowledge, these people never lied to me, even when they let me down (I will come to that bit soon). 

'The firm belief in the ability of someone': I can't promise that I believe in every single person that I know - I can probably only name people on one hand who I truly believe in. If you want to know whether I believe in you, you won't need to ask, you will know!

So, what happened?

Well, my ex boyfriend from another country (there's only one, haha), was visiting the UK. My friends all decided to meet up with him and his new boyfriend. I'm okay with that, but where the fuck was my invite?

Now, my ex's current boyfriend asked not to meet me because I was the ex, the witch, the twat, the idiot, whatever you want to call me. This takes me back to my previous post about ex bf's remaining friends. Guys, it's been like seven fucking years, am I still classified as the ex…? I thought I was his friend, I've known him since I was 16. Even despite this incident, I'm still on good terms with him.

I honestly thought that my friends would have the ability to be reliable, truthful and know these facts. After all, I was the one that introduced them all to him.

Thanks for the back-up, guys. You really know how to make your friend feel welcome in your life. If I were in your shoes, I would of at least asked you if it was okay!

Way too much time has past since this incident to speak to them about it. Instead, this is my confession, for I still feel hurt you did that to me.

Now there is a lovely word in the dictionary called hypocrisy, the practice of claiming to have higher standards than is the case. I seem to remember being bad mouthed by my friends when I stopped seeing my "overseas ex bf" in favour of a UK-based one. They were okay with the breakup, but not with the fact my UK boyfriend asked me not to meet up with my overseas ex. I know what I did was wrong, but do you?

Should I make amends? Do you think I'm in the wrong? Did I over-react?

If you're reading this, did you feel bad at all?

The Oxford dictionary defines forgiveness as the action of process of forgiving. So, I am forgiving them as I move on with my life. I still love you guys immensely, but like any good relationship, trust isn't as easy to get back.